Helpless

She calls you. Its 2 am. Its way past her usual bedtime. She shouldn’t even be awake. You think she dialled your number by mistake, in her sleep, you ignore her call. But then again, the silence is your room is broken your phone vibrating again, with her number flashing.

You reach out and take the call “Hey! How are…”, only to be greeted by a muffled “Hi, can you talk?”, giving away the fact that she’s not okay. She begins pouring her heart out to you, pausing to breathe, barely, and to hear your reassuring “Yes, I’m listening, go on”. And as she tells you how messed up everything back home is, your heart beats almost as fast as hers is pounding.

Your thoughts begin to wander just then, you’re listening to her voice, but you can’t think of what to tell her. How do you make her feel better? Just a little-less-miserable than she was before she called you?

You decide make her laugh. You “jovially” put in a smart-alecky one liner. She pauses, tries to comprehend your words, and just continues talking, breathing heavily. Yes, that was a failed attempt.

Maybe she needs some water, you decide. Your voice guides her to the nearest water bottle and you listen as she takes a sip, and then another, still planning your next move. Still thinking about how to fix her.

You want so much to make her feel alright. To ease the pain. To let her know that it’s going to be okay. But you just don’t know how to use your words anymore. Years of reading and practising the English language fail you. Helpless. That’s how you feel. Helpless.

You just listen to her, cry silently with her, without letting her know. And before you know it, you’ve managed to put the angel to sleep. You can hear her breathe silently, you can picture the serene face. You feel better, atleast you made her stop crying. But, now, what do you do about the tears flooding your eyes?

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7 thoughts on “Helpless

  1. These are the moments reminding me I have a heart, because I feel yours. Whether I know what to say, that I listen is sometimes better. And in the end… where there were two, oneness was the victor. Love is so wonderful. Experience it; share it. * bows*

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