I Think We’re Mistaken: “If you love somebody, let them go”

I think we have it all wrong. Yes, we do. I think we have it all wrong when we say “if you love somebody, let them go”. If we say that, it seems a lot like we’re doing them a favour, or the “letting go” part, is for them. But is that really true? Shouldn’t it be more along the “if you love somebody, and they don’t love you like you’d like them to, leave, walk away”.

Are the two the same, though? Is letting go of somebody the same as leaving? I think not. I think letting go involves freeing the other person, allowing them to walk away from you while you’re (in most probability) stuck in the same place you were before. Think about it, if you do let somebody go, what about you? Are you supposed to wait for them to get back? Or are you supposed to ignore all that you’re feeling and pretend to heal? I can’t get myself to understand why all these love songs talk about letting people go, and waiting for them to get back to you (which apparently they will, if it was meant to be), but why do we have to let go in the first place? Why can’t people just stay, if they had to, if they were meant to be?

Leaving, sounds more like something I’d do, now. Leaving, because there’s nothing that’s making me stay. Nothing, that’s saying things are going to be better. Leaving because I know I’ve tried everything. Moreover, leaving makes me feel better. And that’s all that matters, in this moment, right now.

But, do people really come back once they’ve decided to leave? Well, I’m still to figure that one out. Is this is permanent decision, or a whimsical one? Time, and only time can tell me that.

So I’ve decided to give time, some time.

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Dear Coldplay

Dear Coldplay,

Well, picture this, a girl, about the age of eleven, sitting on the floor, with her legs outstretched, her palms faced down, in front of a large, bulky, wait-high stereo system. Imagine her engulfed in a song, feeling every beat as it resonates through her. Imagine her rewind the cassette and play the same song, Speed of Sound, over and over again. Now, imagine her enveloped in that memory, as she writes to you, eleven years later.

I’m not sure what triggered me to write this letter. Maybe it’s because attending a Live Coldplay Concert has been on my bucket list since time immemorial, or because “A Head Full of Dreams” is potentially your last studio album (please tell me that’s not true!) or maybe it’s because you guys came all the way to India and left without performing for us! Umm, it’s probably a culmination on the three, probably.

It’s been such a long love affair, one that has lasted for more than half my twenty-one year old lifetime. I’ve graduated from rewinding cassettes and waiting for the music channel to play your song on TV to being able to stream it online; from being a naïve sixth grade student to being a seemingly mature college senior; from being somebody who sought happiness in others to somebody who’s learnt to conjure some up for herself. So much has changed, but, my love for you? That’s been unwaveringly present. That’s been a constant.

Have you ever felt that intense feeling of wanting to tell somebody you love them? Well, then you know exactly how I’m feeling right now. And, I know you’ve felt the piercing pain of unrequited love, “When you love someone, but it goes to waste, could it be worse?” Show us some love, won’t you? Come, perform for us in India, won’t you? We love you, and we’d love for you to know that. And if you love us, won’t you let us know?

Well, I think I now know why I needed to write this. Because if I never tried, I’d never know.

Yours,

Tanvi Mathur

India

1st February, 2016

11:37 am

The handwritten version is here: DearColdplay

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Update: I actually decided to send it to them!